Ten psychological effects in tutoring
Rosenthal, a famous American psychologist, once performed such an experiment: he randomly aligned a group of mice with parts: groups A and B, and told the breeder of group A that the mice in this group were very smart; At the same time, told the breeder of group B that the mice in this group were of average intelligence.
After each month, the professor tested the aligned mice through the maze and found that the mice in group A were actually smarter than the mice in group B. They could walk out of the maze and find food.
Professor Rosenthal was inspired, and he wondered if this effect could also happen to people?
He came to an ordinary middle school, walked casually in a class, and then put a few names on the student list, and told their teachers that the students had high IQs and were very smart.
After a while, the professor came to this middle school again, and the miracle happened again. The students selected by him have now become the outstanding leaders in the class.
Why would such phenomenon happen?
It is the magical power of “suggestion” that works.
Everyone in life accepts this or that kind of psychological cues, some of which are positive and some are negative.
Mom is the child’s favorite, most trusted and most dependent person, and also the person who exerts psychological hints.
If it is long-term negative and bad psychological cues, it will affect the child’s emotions, and even seriously affect their mental health.
On the contrary, if the mother has high expectations for the child, positively affirm, nourish the child’s heart through the eyes of anticipation, the aimed smile, and the motivating language, and make the child more self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, and self-improvement., How big the child’s future results will be!
The famous American writer Mark Twain once heard a minister’s speech in a church.
At first, he felt that the priest was very good at speaking, moving and prepared to donate.
After 10 minutes, the priest had not finished speaking, and he was impatient, so he decided to donate only some change.
After another 10 minutes, the priest had not finished speaking, so he decided not to donate one cent.
When the priest finally ended the lengthy speech and began to raise money, Mark Twain, because of his anger, neither donated money, but stole 2 yuan from the plate.
This kind of psychological phenomenon of excessive irritation, too strong and prolonged action causes psychological impatience or resistance, which is called “overrun effect”.
Overrun effects often occur in family education.
For example, when a child makes a mistake, parents will repeat the same criticism once, twice, three times, or even four times, five times, making the child from guilt, impatientness, and even disgust.
Being “rushed”, the resistance and behavior of “I want to be like this” will appear.
It can be seen that the mother’s criticism of the child cannot exceed the limit, and the child should “make one mistake and only criticize once”.
If you have to criticize it again, you can simply repeat it. You have to change your perspective and put it another way.
In this way, the child will not feel that the same mistake has been “stolen”, annoyed, and rebellious will be reduced accordingly.
Psychologist Desi once realized the fable: a group of children roared in front of an old man’s house, barking loudly.
After a few days, the old man was intolerable.
So he came out and gave each child 10 cents, and said to them, “You make this place very lively. I feel a lot younger, and I am grateful for this money.
“The children are very happy, and still come the next day, as usual, playful.
The old man came out again and gave each child 5 cents.
Five cents is okay, and the child is still happily gone.
On the third day, the old man gave only 2 cents to each child, and the children were furious. “Only 2 cents a day, do you know how hard we are!
“They swear to the old man that they will never play for him again!
In this parable, the old man’s method is simple. He turns the children’s internal motivation “to play for their own happiness” into an external motivation “to play for cents.” He manipulates the external factor of cents, soIt also manipulates children’s behavior.
The Desi effect is apparent in life.
For example, parents often say to their children: “If you get 100 points this time, you will be awarded 100 yuan”, “If you can enter the top five, you will be rewarded with a new toy” and so on.
Parents may not have thought that it is this improper reward mechanism that diminishes children’s interest in learning little by little.In terms of learning, parents should guide their children to establish ambitious ideals, increase their emotions and interests in learning, increase their motivation for learning, and help their children learn.
Parental rewards can be things that are helpful to learning, such as books, learning equipment, and some rewards that are not related to learning, it is best not to.
The “Southerly Wind” effect, also known as the “Warm” effect, stems from a parable written by French writer La Fontaine: the northerly and southerly winds are stronger than the power, depending on who can take off the coat on the pedestrian.
The north wind first came with a cold wind and biting cold. As a result, pedestrians wrapped their coats tightly in order to resist the invasion of the north wind.
The south wind was blowing slowly, and the wind was sunny and sunny. Pedestrians felt that the spring was warm. They unbuttoned and then took off their coats. South wind won the victory.
The reason why Nanfeng can achieve the purpose in the story is because it conforms to the internal needs of people.
This kind of psychological reaction caused by inspiring self-reflection and satisfying self-needs is the “southern wind effect”.
From this we can know that it is not advisable to use “bamboo” education methods such as “sticks” and “intimidation” in family education.
The implementation of warm-hearted education, more “human touch” praise, and training children to consciously and upwardly, can achieve more results with less effort.
The “wood barrel” effect means: a wooden barrel with irregular mouths, the amount of water it holds is not the longest plank on the barrel, but the shortest plank on the barrel.
A child’s overall academic performance is like a big wooden barrel, and each subject’s performance is a non-wasteful piece of wood that makes up this big wooden barrel.
The stable formation of a child’s good academic performance cannot depend on the expansion of the performance of a few subjects, or should be its overall condition, especially depending on some of its weak moments.
Therefore, when you find that your child’s subjects are inadequate, you should promptly remind your child to let them spend more time in this subject to “take advantage of each other.”
The Hawthorne factory outside Chicago, USA is a factory that manufactures telephone exchanges. It has relatively complete entertainment facilities, medical systems, and pension systems. However, workers are still angry and production is not ideal.
Later, psychologists devoted themselves to conducting a test. In two years, the experts looked for more than 20,000 individual workers, and stipulated that during the personalization process, they must listen patiently to the workers’ opinions and dissatisfaction with the factory.
This unique test received unexpected results: the Hawthorne plant’s output increased significantly.
In the process of learning and growing up, children will inevitably have confusion or dissatisfaction, but they cannot fully express it.
As a mother, you should try to talk to your child for as long as possible, and in the process of talking, you must patiently guide the child to understand, talk about your life, the troubles in your studies, and talk about your dissatisfaction with parents, schools, teachers, classmates, etc.
After the child “speaks”, there will be a kind of venting satisfaction, and they will feel relaxed and comfortable.
In this way, they will work harder in their studies and be more confident in their lives!
Increase or decrease effect.
The “increasing or decreasing effect” in interpersonal communication means that anyone wants the other party to like themselves to “increasingly” rather than “decreasingly”.
For example, many salespeople have grasped the mentality of people. When weighing goods to customers, they always grab a small pile and add it a little bit, instead of grabbing a large pile in the weighing plate.Take it out a little bit more.
When we evaluate a child, it is inevitable that we will talk about his shortcomings and advantages, and often use the method of “deprecation before derogation”.
In fact, this is a very unsatisfactory evaluation method.
When evaluating children, we do not hinder the use of the “increase or decrease effect”, for example, first say that the child has some minor problems without injury and dignity, and then give appropriate praise . butterfly effect.
According to research, the faint air flow brought by a butterfly occasionally flapping its wings in the southern hemisphere, due to the decomposition of various other factors, will become a tornado sweeping the United States in a few weeks!
Distortionists call this phenomenon the “butterfly effect” and lead to a theoretical statement: a very small cause, which can develop into a huge and complex influence after a certain period of time and other factors participate.
The “butterfly effect” tells us that there is nothing trivial to educate children.
A one-sentence statement, the handling of one thing, correct and correct, may affect the child’s life; wrong and arbitrary, it may delay the child’s life.
During World War II, the United States did not have enough troops, and the war did require a group of soldiers.
As a result, the US government decided to organize prisoners in the prison to fight on the front lines.
As a result, the United States government sent several psychologists to train and mobilize prisoners before the war, and went to the front with them.
During training, psychologists don’t preach too much about them, but especially highlight that prisoners write a letter to their closest relatives every week.
The content of the letter was drawn up by psychologists, and described how the prisoners performed well in prison and how to reform.
Experts ask prisoners to copy carefully and send it to their dearest ones.Three months later, the prisoners went to the front line. Experts asked the prisoners to write to their loved ones how they obeyed the command and how brave they were.
As a result, the performance of these prisoners on the battlefield is no less than that of the distance army. In the battle, they obeyed the command as bravely as they said in the letter.
Later, psychologists called this phenomenon the “labelling effect” and psychologically called the hint effect.
This psychological law plays an extremely important role in family education.
For example, if we always yell “stupid”, “pig head”, “how stupid”, “not even such a simple translation” at children, etc., over time, children may really become usThe so-called “dumb”.
Therefore, mothers must rid themselves of ridicule, humiliation, blame, threats and intimidation, use motivational language, and label children positively.
Door-to-door biological effects.
There is often a phenomenon in daily life: when you ask others for help, if you make a higher request at the beginning, it is easy to be rejected; and if you make fewer requests first and others agree to increase the weight of the request, thenIt’s easier to reach the goal, a phenomenon that psychologists call “the doorway biological effect.”
In home education, we can also use the “door-to-door biological effect”.
For example, first ask the children, wait for them to do well in accordance with the requirements, at least affirm, praise and even reward, and then gradually increase the requirements, so that the children are willing to actively work forward endlessly.